"The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new" - Pema Chodron
All I want to do is spread some happiness, so hopefully I can accomplish that by posting things and thoughts that make me happy. I don't necessarily think I'm qualified to give advice, but I can let you in on thought patterns that have changed my life, and hope you can get something out of them. One of the biggest issues I see in a lot of people I've come in contact with is they get to a point in their life where they feel stuck. Whether consciously or not, they made choices in their life and now they feel backed into a corner. The thing is, I know that feeling, and for me, the best solution to that problem is this:
The universe is full of endless possibilities, and you have infinite potential. You are doing yourself a disservice by limiting yourself to your identity.
Since I moved across the country and made a huge career shift, I've had A LOT of time to think about this. I suddenly wasn't "Tobi: Hair Stylist", and it wasn't until then that I figured out that had been my entire identity for years. For the first few months of living in DC, I wanted to cry every time I met someone and the first question they inevitably asked was "What do you do?". In a place where everyone has a big fancy job title, "I'm a former hairdresser, experiencing a bit of a meltdown" didn't sound so impressive.
After a while, I came to this: Clinging to a specific idea of self typically does not lead to a happy life. I am made of far more than my labels. I am my thoughts, quirks, philosophy, relationships, attitude, reactions, actions, words, habits, and emotions. And more than anything, I am allowed to change any part of me at any given time. I can move to a new state, get a new job, join a new church, take up knitting or basketball or skydiving - the only thing I have to do is decide to do it. This one HUGE, yet simple realization is what took me from a sobbing drunken mess who was SO lost and sad and confused at this time last year, to the me I am this second: the happiest version of Tobi to date.
Now, when people say "What do you do?", I say "Whatever the hell I want".
All I want to do is spread some happiness, so hopefully I can accomplish that by posting things and thoughts that make me happy. I don't necessarily think I'm qualified to give advice, but I can let you in on thought patterns that have changed my life, and hope you can get something out of them. One of the biggest issues I see in a lot of people I've come in contact with is they get to a point in their life where they feel stuck. Whether consciously or not, they made choices in their life and now they feel backed into a corner. The thing is, I know that feeling, and for me, the best solution to that problem is this:
The universe is full of endless possibilities, and you have infinite potential. You are doing yourself a disservice by limiting yourself to your identity.
Since I moved across the country and made a huge career shift, I've had A LOT of time to think about this. I suddenly wasn't "Tobi: Hair Stylist", and it wasn't until then that I figured out that had been my entire identity for years. For the first few months of living in DC, I wanted to cry every time I met someone and the first question they inevitably asked was "What do you do?". In a place where everyone has a big fancy job title, "I'm a former hairdresser, experiencing a bit of a meltdown" didn't sound so impressive.
After a while, I came to this: Clinging to a specific idea of self typically does not lead to a happy life. I am made of far more than my labels. I am my thoughts, quirks, philosophy, relationships, attitude, reactions, actions, words, habits, and emotions. And more than anything, I am allowed to change any part of me at any given time. I can move to a new state, get a new job, join a new church, take up knitting or basketball or skydiving - the only thing I have to do is decide to do it. This one HUGE, yet simple realization is what took me from a sobbing drunken mess who was SO lost and sad and confused at this time last year, to the me I am this second: the happiest version of Tobi to date.
Now, when people say "What do you do?", I say "Whatever the hell I want".
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