My Take on Mindfulness

Have you ever heard of "mindfulness"? It's the practice of being in the present, of being here, of being aware. Over the past year, I have done my best to practice mindfulness, but it is so much harder than it sounds.

Let's get real here: I tend to be an anxious person. Okay, that's a huge understatement. I tend to be THE anxious person. I get super frazzled when I am running late, my heart feels like it's going to explode if money gets just a little tight. My head gets all hot and my palms get sweaty when I have to meet people for the first time. By far the worst thing of being an anxious person, though, is my runaway-train brain. I create these tightly wound knots-of-thought about everything, ranging from the tone of voice a total stranger used with me, to the way one of my exes treated me, to what kind of mother I imagine I'll be. I can take a tiny shred of reality, fuel it with anxiety, add a dash of perception and presto-chango, I've created a  new world. One in which I get kicked out of my apartment because my neighbor is mad that my dog barked in the middle of the night, or, where my mom is mad at me (or worse!), because she didn't answer her phone right away when I called. "Oh god, maybe something terrible happened. Maybe I should fly home. How am I going to do that though, with the holidays coming up, and money is tight for everyone, and what will I do with the dogs? And once I'm there, how long do I stay,  and where? And and and and!!!" It spirals out of control, and before I know it, the actual world I live in is something I've totally forgotten about. The one where my neighbor slept through my dog barking, my mom is a busy woman who is safe, and loves me forever, and everything is just as it should be. It's easy to do though, and I've learned 3 things since I decided I wanted to live happy:

1. Everyone has this affliction to some degree or another
2. Being mindful of the present moment makes winding those knots a hell of a lot more difficult.
3. It's okay to have a bad day, as long as you understand why

Some suggest practicing mindfulness by focusing on your breath. Honestly, I find it difficult and distracting.. I practice mindfulness in several different ways, but first by focusing on physical sensations. When I'm washing dishes, I focus on the scent of the soap. The solidness of the dish in my hand, the temperature of the water, the way the rug under me feels on my feet. I do my best not to just "wash my dishes", but to Wash My Dishes. When I drove across the country a few months ago, I had a TON of time to think. I drove alone for 6,500+ miles. I didn't want to waste my trip, and since I didn't have someone to "make memories with", I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to practice mindfulness. I feel like I could describe 20+ states to you in excruciating detail. Not just the scenery, but the feeling I had as I was passing through. The way the locals treated me and the kinds of conversations we had. My energy level, my appetite, what I listened to, who I thought of. I learned that it's a lot easier to milk every second of happiness out of life if you are actually experiencing every second of life. If you pay attention, there is something you enjoy happening every single moment. The first step, for me, was to get out of my head. If you don't have a clear head to deal with everything right now, that's okay. Set aside the knot-of-thought and focus on what is real right now

Another way I practice mindfulness is to dissect. I read a book once that suggested that every emotion is boiled down to one of 2 base emotions: Hope, and Fear. I was skeptical of this philosophy until I started to dissect my emotions every time I got anxious. EVERY TIME it boiled down to either hope, or fear. Really, even if at first it looked like hope, it was usually fear anyway. They're really the flip side of the same coin. Anyway, what I'm getting at is this: Next time you feel like you might be allowing yourself to create a world that isn't genuine, ask why. Once you get down to the fear that inevitably lies beneath it, you will notice that that big imaginary world you created with those knots, is loosened down to a singular thread. Then you're free to snip the thread and toss it.

Mindfulness, for me, it's a huge key to happiness. It's not to say I don't still have issues (just ask my poor, sweet husband), and it certainly takes work, but I have gotten to a place of clarity in my mind that I didn't know was possible. The best part is that every perceived set-back, can be used as a tool to open up a little bit more. 

“In this moment, there is plenty of time. In this moment, you are precisely as you should be. In this moment, there is infinite possibility." - Victoria Moran, Younger by the Day: 365 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Body and Revitalize Your Spirit