My Take on Mindfulness

Have you ever heard of "mindfulness"? It's the practice of being in the present, of being here, of being aware. Over the past year, I have done my best to practice mindfulness, but it is so much harder than it sounds.

Let's get real here: I tend to be an anxious person. Okay, that's a huge understatement. I tend to be THE anxious person. I get super frazzled when I am running late, my heart feels like it's going to explode if money gets just a little tight. My head gets all hot and my palms get sweaty when I have to meet people for the first time. By far the worst thing of being an anxious person, though, is my runaway-train brain. I create these tightly wound knots-of-thought about everything, ranging from the tone of voice a total stranger used with me, to the way one of my exes treated me, to what kind of mother I imagine I'll be. I can take a tiny shred of reality, fuel it with anxiety, add a dash of perception and presto-chango, I've created a  new world. One in which I get kicked out of my apartment because my neighbor is mad that my dog barked in the middle of the night, or, where my mom is mad at me (or worse!), because she didn't answer her phone right away when I called. "Oh god, maybe something terrible happened. Maybe I should fly home. How am I going to do that though, with the holidays coming up, and money is tight for everyone, and what will I do with the dogs? And once I'm there, how long do I stay,  and where? And and and and!!!" It spirals out of control, and before I know it, the actual world I live in is something I've totally forgotten about. The one where my neighbor slept through my dog barking, my mom is a busy woman who is safe, and loves me forever, and everything is just as it should be. It's easy to do though, and I've learned 3 things since I decided I wanted to live happy:

1. Everyone has this affliction to some degree or another
2. Being mindful of the present moment makes winding those knots a hell of a lot more difficult.
3. It's okay to have a bad day, as long as you understand why

Some suggest practicing mindfulness by focusing on your breath. Honestly, I find it difficult and distracting.. I practice mindfulness in several different ways, but first by focusing on physical sensations. When I'm washing dishes, I focus on the scent of the soap. The solidness of the dish in my hand, the temperature of the water, the way the rug under me feels on my feet. I do my best not to just "wash my dishes", but to Wash My Dishes. When I drove across the country a few months ago, I had a TON of time to think. I drove alone for 6,500+ miles. I didn't want to waste my trip, and since I didn't have someone to "make memories with", I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to practice mindfulness. I feel like I could describe 20+ states to you in excruciating detail. Not just the scenery, but the feeling I had as I was passing through. The way the locals treated me and the kinds of conversations we had. My energy level, my appetite, what I listened to, who I thought of. I learned that it's a lot easier to milk every second of happiness out of life if you are actually experiencing every second of life. If you pay attention, there is something you enjoy happening every single moment. The first step, for me, was to get out of my head. If you don't have a clear head to deal with everything right now, that's okay. Set aside the knot-of-thought and focus on what is real right now

Another way I practice mindfulness is to dissect. I read a book once that suggested that every emotion is boiled down to one of 2 base emotions: Hope, and Fear. I was skeptical of this philosophy until I started to dissect my emotions every time I got anxious. EVERY TIME it boiled down to either hope, or fear. Really, even if at first it looked like hope, it was usually fear anyway. They're really the flip side of the same coin. Anyway, what I'm getting at is this: Next time you feel like you might be allowing yourself to create a world that isn't genuine, ask why. Once you get down to the fear that inevitably lies beneath it, you will notice that that big imaginary world you created with those knots, is loosened down to a singular thread. Then you're free to snip the thread and toss it.

Mindfulness, for me, it's a huge key to happiness. It's not to say I don't still have issues (just ask my poor, sweet husband), and it certainly takes work, but I have gotten to a place of clarity in my mind that I didn't know was possible. The best part is that every perceived set-back, can be used as a tool to open up a little bit more. 

“In this moment, there is plenty of time. In this moment, you are precisely as you should be. In this moment, there is infinite possibility." - Victoria Moran, Younger by the Day: 365 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Body and Revitalize Your Spirit

When Life Gives You Lemons, Be Totally Stoked.

I love my life (obviously, that's why I have a happiness blog), but sometimes it stinks. Literally. I have 2 dogs (a Basset/Beagle mix named Dex, and a Schnauzer named Jake) who are flatulent, drooly, and not-quite-entirely potty trained (both Bassets and Beagles are notorious for being hard to housebreak, and a mix between the two is proving to be impossible). I also have a husband who is a month into the 'Insanity' workout, and since my operation I've had a hard time raising my arms high enough to apply deodorant. So yea, my life is fantastic, but it doesn't smell so good. I have a Scentsy, which I love, but sometimes when you walk in the door, you just don't want to have to wait for wax to melt. I bought an Airwick, but it scares the dogs when it goes off every 90 seconds so we used it for about 20 minutes before deciding that it was a horrible investment. My husband is a fantastically clean person so our home is always clean, but no matter what I tried, I couldn't get it to not smell like we have dogs. Until one of them got worms, and I got obsessive...

I can't remember if I've ever had a dog have worms before or not, but for some reason, it really freaked me out when we found out poor Jake had them. Parasites just skeez me out, I guess. We got pills for the boys, and they told us to check them for fleas, but that just wasn't good enough for me. I decided to take matters into my own doTERRA loving hands.

It turns out, mixing baking soda, salt, and lemon essential oil kills fleas, which are the cause of the worms. I mixed up a big ol' batch and sprinkled it all over my carpet, rugs, couch, throw pillows, you name it. I left it on for 30ish minutes, and vacuumed it up. Voila! I don't even know if there were fleas in my carpet, but I sure as hell will sleep better tonight knowing that there aren't now. Added bonus: My house smells AWESOME! No one in the world would be able to tell I have dogs and a sweaty husband and haven't worn antiperspirant in 3 weeks. It's officially my favorite cleaning tool now, and I'm going to use it every time I vacuum for the rest of my life. Plus, it's cheap! doTERRA's Lemon oil is $13.33 and a box of baking soda isn't more than a couple bucks. I don't even know how much it costs, because it lasts forever. I'm telling you, if you have animals and or sweaty kids/spouse, this is going to save your olfactories. Plus and you're going to be stoked to have people come over, instead of having that "Sorry about the animal smell, but we love them!" conversation every time you have have company  More added benefits? Sure, here's a list!

Lemon oil (when used aromatically):

• A natural air disinfectant (not just deodorizer!)
• A mood booster (who doesn't need that this time of year?) 
• Improves memory
• Alleviates anxiety
• Improves concentration 
• Helps with nervous conditions and depression (including postpartum depression)
• Alleviates hangovers (come on, friends. I'm looking at you...)
• Aids in Lymphatic Cleansing
• Promotes physical energy
• Relieves throat infections
• Is generally uplifting

And did I mention my house smells freaking amazing? Woohoo!!

P.S. I only listed the benefits doTERRA's lemon oil has when used aromatically, which is how it's used if it's sprinkled on your carpet (mixed with baking soda, of course) or diffused into the air. There are TONS of other benefits when applied topically, or ingested. As with any oil, feel free to ask me any questions you have, and you can pick some up here:www.mydoterra.com/tobivehrs

Be well friends! 

My Pocket Book of Sunshine

I have a tiny little book I carry everywhere with me. It's always in my purse, or by my bed, or in my back pocket, or on our kitchen table. It's beat up, underlined, highlighted, and dog-eared. It's called Tao te Ching, and I think of it as my guidelines for life. In the forward of my copy of the book, it says, "Lao-tzu's central figure is a man or woman [referred to as 'the Master'] whose life is in perfect harmony with the way things are. This is not an idea, it's a reality... In giving up all concepts, judgements, and desires, her mind has grown naturally compassionate. She finds deep in her own experience, the central truths of the art of living.". It's less like the bible, which has a lot of stories of how other people lived, and more like a philosophy book. It's 'Truths of the art of living' in plain, simple, form.

Written sometime between 4th-6th century BC, it's a classic Chinese text written by Lao-tzu (my version is translated by Stephen Mitchell) and whose title roughly translates to "The Book of the Way". No one knows much about the author (he may or may not have lived 996 years, over 13 incarnations) but to me, the majority of that information is irrelevant, and can be found on Google.

The reason I'm blogging about my dear, sweet Tao te Ching, is because when I'm upset, or sad, or anxious or afraid or bummed or judgmental, or at all imbalanced, I can open it to literally any page, and find solace. My all time favorite verse (or quote, if you prefer) that I come back to time, and time and time again, is:

"Things arise, and she lets them come, Things disappear, and she lets them go.".

It is so incredibly simple, but there are some days I have to read it 500 times, over and over and over before I can put it into practice. That's why I carry it with me everywhere. I breathe in the words, I breathe out my suffering. I breathe in the way, I breathe out my trials. I'm in no way 'enlightened', but after reading even the smallest portion of this book at any given time I feel like I can somehow just exist in the best possible Tobi way. It's like that part on 'I Heart Huckabees' when they hit each other in the face with a rubber ball. After you've been smacked like that, there's no room to judge, or even think. Right then, you just are. (they call it 'Pure Being'. Watch it if you haven't. Then watch it again. Then let's talk about existentialism, because that's my favorite stuff).

There is so much knowledge contained in the tiny 81 pages of this book, I honestly wish I could buy a copy for everyone in the whole entire world. Another fantastic quote is:

"The Master doesn't seek fulfillment. Not seeking, not expecting, she is present and can welcome all things".

It just kind of fits in with my whole philosophy of not planning, but letting the universe unfold in front of you. Breathe in, let it come. Breathe out, let it go. The universe is chaotic, and we are silly to think we can control it.

If you really don't feel like getting a copy of Tao te Ching, you can always just Google Lao-tzu quotes. There are tons of them (whether they actually came from him or not is up for debate, but I digress...) and every single one will make you want to live more fully with every breath. I leave you with this:

(or as my friend Tonni says, "If you have one foot in the past and one in the future, you're [squatting] on the present." She's an old, wise soul)

I love you, friends. Be well!

Don't let your pain in the neck be a "pain in the neck".

My back is, for lack of a better word, skiwampus. (I think my mom made up this word, because my family are the only people I've ever heard use it, but feel free to from now on. Pronounced Skee-Womp-Us: meaning screwed up, or, you know... FUBAR) I have mild scoliosis, protruding shoulder blades, some funky form of tendonitis around my trapezius muscle, and according to my chiropractor, pre-arthritis and subluxations in the my cervical spine. In fact, 99.9% of the time, if I have any sort of pain, it's in my shoulders/neck/upper back. Since I've been doing lots and lots of yoga in the past couple years, it's gotten a lot better, but since I haven't done yoga in the past almost-month, it's really all creeping up on me. These two incredibly easy things have made my life SO much easier lately:

1: Remember that yoga pose I wrote about a few posts back? (Child's Pose) Well, that's been helping a lot, but due to certain circumstances, it's been hard for me to lay on my chest very well. That's where the pose that is affectionately referred to as Rag Doll pose comes in. I'm super limited in my range of motion right now, but this one's for everyone, and I have probably been doing it 20x a day this past week. Here's how it's done: Stand with your feet hips distance apart, bend at the hips, and dangle your arms head and neck. Sometimes I hold my elbows, sometimes I let my arms hang, sometimes I put my hands behind my back. Feel free to play with it. It's so unbelievably easy, and feels sooooo good. Try it. Right now. You know you want to! There you go. Hold that pose for a solid 10 breaths and you'll feel like a new person. If you want an added stretch, each time you exhale, try to get a little longer. Then, once you're ready to rejoin the world of the Upright's, slowly roll up, one vertebrae at a time. Hang on, I'll do it with you... Oh man, that felt good (yea, I genuinely just did it.) When was the last time you just let your head dangle like dead weight? Trust me, your neck deserves a break from holding up your brilliant brain and you gorgeous face all day.

Number two on my (short) list of things that have made my life more comfortable and down right delightful lately is also my doTERRA spotlight product for the day (because who doesn't like a twofer?): 

This. Stuff. ROCKS! I first tried it after I had driven from Maryland to Arizona, and my dad had me put some on my achy back. Since then, I've been HOOKED! The closest thing I can compare it to is Icy-Hot and/or Vick's Vaporub, but made with essential oils so it has added benefits. It's comprised of wintergreen, camphor, peppermint, blue tansy, German chamomile, helichrysum, and osmanthus. A little bit goes a LONG way, and you feel the warming/cooling effects immediately. It's so great for people like me with chronic muscle pain, but also good for sore muscles after a hard workout, or a nice, deep-tissue massage. DoTERRA also makes a Deep Blue proprietary blend oil (which I also have) that is super duper strong, and must be diluted, and also as a roll on for smaller areas. Thanks to the one-two punch of this rub, and good ol' Rag Doll pose, (and the occasional heating pad) I feel like a million bucks!

On Guard!

I promised I'd spotlight a different doTERRA product every day this week, and I'm super psyched, because I just got a shipment in the mail!

Today's oil is more than just an oil. It's a SUPER MEGA oil blend, called On Guard. It's a proprietary blend of Wild Orange, Clove Bud, Cinnamon Bark, Eucalyptus Radiata, and Rosemary. This is THE OIL to have for flu season, and here's why: the oils contained in On Guard have been studied for their abilities to kill harmful bacteria, mold and viruses. (According to Modern Essentials: A Contemporary Guide to the Therapeutic Use of Essential Oils; Third Edition) It is shown to help boost immune function, and protect against bacteria and viruses. If you have kids, you need this stuff. Basically what I'm saying is this: You get a sniffle, apply this stuff to the bottom of your feet and you'll feel better in no time. Even better than that, you can diffuse it into the air to kill bacteria and viruses, so you never even get a sniffle in the first place! Tell me that's not better than a flu shot!

Another thing I like about On Guard, is that you can also get it in a foamy hand soap (which I just got for my kitchen and bathrooms, YAY!) a Cleaner Concentrate to clean and protect the surfaces of your home or work-place (especially good when the guy in the cubicle next to you keeps sneezing all over your desk!), and Protecting Throat Drops, just in case you read this post a little too late and already got a bug :)

Seriously though, I want everyone to be able to enjoy what promises to be an awesome holiday season with their loved ones, and not worry about feeling under the weather, so try this stuff out. I promise, you'll thank me for it.

As always, you can order here --> www.mydoterra.com/tobivehrs

Be well!!

Happiness in a Bottle

I have been laid up the past few weeks, and have used that time to do SO much research on the doTERRA company, their products, and why they work. I've gone so far as to read up on the chemical constituents that make up the oils, further my understanding of doTERRA's label of Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade oil (CPTG) and read about other companies and how their products stack up. I haven't been with the company long, but the amount of reading, watching, and talking with people I've done in the past few weeks is so interesting to me, and I just figured here would be a good place to share it with y'all.I feel like my first post, (my post about lavender) was a good testimonial, but I had a lot of people get ahold of me and tell me that they honestly had no idea what this stuff was, and why I was talking about putting lavender on my feet. I honestly love it so much and have already integrated it into my life in such a way that it's changing the way I live, I really want to explain more about what it is and why it's such a big deal to me.

Essential oils are extracted from plants. They come from leaves, roots, bark, seeds, blossoms, fruits, flowers, etc. of various plants found around the world, and are extracted using various methods. One thing I didn't understand about oils until I started reading, is the importance of harvesting the plant at just the right time of year, in the right soil, and in just the right climate, to get the absolute best product. There are so many variables that go into each component of getting just the right product. I won't bore you with all of the details (unless you want me to, in which case, let me know, because I totally can :) but it's really incredible to know that my Lavender comes from France, my Meleleuca comes from Australia, my Frankincense comes from Oman. It's not forced to grow somewhere along side a freeway in the Breadbasket of America. That might make it cheaper, but it would also make it less authentic, and thereby less effective.

I knew that Essential Oils have been around forever. There are several references to them in the Bible (Frankincense and Myrrh, just to name 2 but I read somewhere that there are 188 references in the Bible to oils), and they have been used in China and Egypt as natural medicine for centuries. I just kind of figured that, you know, we're in the Western World, and we have Aspirin,, NyQuil, Prozac and Liquid Band-Aid. Why do we need to go back to this caveman crap? Here's why: Because the synthetic chemicals we use to clean our homes, and fix our wounds, and sooth our broken hearts are just trying to imitate what Essential Oils naturally do. Once I realized that scientists are taking the chemical constituents that are NATURALLY found in the plants we gather our oils from, breaking them down, and then synthetically trying to reproduce them, I realized why we have LISTS of side effects on our prescription bottles. Suddenly, it stopped sounding like hippie jibber-jabber and started making a whole lot of sense.

One of the reasons I decided to go with doTERRA when I decided I wanted to rep an Essential Oil company, is that they are the only oil company that sells Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade (CPTG) oils. Many oil companies sell therapeutic oils that say they are 100% pure, but that means they have passed a Gas Chromatography test. That test makes sure that all of the applicable compounds are present in the oil, but it does NOT mean they are natural. They could be 100% synthetic compounds, but since they are also present in the plant, the oil can be labeled as "pure". The other big issue with regular therapeutic grade oils that undergo this test, is that it only checks to make sure certain compounds are there. It does NOT check to make sure other compounds are NOT there, such as pesticide that may have been used on the plant, fillers, added alcohol, etc. CPTG oils (which only doTERRA sells) go through a second test (called a Mass Spectrometry Test) that checks every single vial in every batch that comes through and makes sure it is non-synthetic, without fillers, and completely natural. In other words, it is Certified Pure! (If you really want to nerd out like me, you can read this Wikipedia article on Gas Chromatography and Mass Spectrometry). Here's a fun fact: The other day I found an old bottle of lavender oil in our medicine cabinet from way before I heard of doTERRA. I read fine print on the bottle, and it said, "made of mineral oil and fragrance". THAT is what people are trying to pass off as oil these days. For shame.

Ok, sorry about the doTERRA rant, but I honestly have been doing so much work, and it makes so much sense to me that I really want to let everyone in my life know about it. So, every day this week I'm going to spotlight a different oil, and tell you a bit about why I like it, and what it's used for, etc. That way, you can learn along with me. (Some days I might have 2 blog posts, because I'm feeling a lot better, and I have a lot to be happy about right now, so just stay with me here) There has been a huge interest in how to get these oils, so let me just tell you real quick, and then I'll leave you alone.

You can go to my website at www.mydoterra.com/tobivehrs and poke around. If you know what you want, just click "Shop", then do your shopping, and check out. You do not have to fill out the part about a consultant ID and password. HOWEVER, you do have the option of paying a one time $10 fee and getting 20% off all your oils by becoming a preferred member, or, if you really love them like me you can become a product consultant and get your oils for wholesale. If that's more your style, then hit "Join" instead of "Shop" in the upper right hand corner. There is SO MUCH info on the site, plus if you have ANY questions, you can just click my name on the upper left hand corner of the home screen and ask away (or leave comments here!)

I really want to hear what you guys think of these "Gifts of the Earth" (that's what doTERRA translates to, and it's so true!) Leave comments and pass word along. I literally CAN NOT WAIT for you guys to see how fantastic this stuff is.

These Boots Were Made for Walkin'

When I lived in Salt Lake, I had a crappy car. It was a teal '97 Chevy Cavalier and I loved it like crazy. I knew it was a sucky car, but I honestly didn't care Anyway, long story short, stuff started to go wrong with it and since I lived only about a mile away from the Trax Station (their version of a metro, or trolley, or whatever) I decided to start walking instead of driving.Then, when I moved to DC, I took the metro everywhere and continued the tradition. I walked EVERYWHERE for a solid 9 months until this June, when we moved to a tiny suburb of Baltimore where there is no mass transit. I loved walking everywhere though, and I miss it. I honestly think it shifted the whole entire way I saw the world.

See, when you drive places, you notice your speed, the stop lights, the crosswalks, the cops, and the other drivers that you just so desperately wish weren't there. When you walk, you notice the caterpillar inching it's way across the sidewalk you almost just squished with your giant foot, which makes you wonder whether or not it has any concept of how close to death it just came, or if it even cares. You notice how yesterday the sunflowers were facing east, but since your out later today, now they're pointing straight up. You notice a 2 degree difference when the wind changes. You notice that the air smells like the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. You notice the beautifully human markings of some random construction worker who job it is to fix the incredibly convenient sidewalk you get to walk on.You notice the weathered, chipped brick of an old building you've driven past a thousand times and never noticed how gorgeous it is. One of my favorite things about walking is when you see a driver and they look at you like "Oh you poor thing, you don't have a car!" and you look at them like "Oh you poor thing, you're stuck in a cage on wheels, and I'm enjoying this fantastically beautiful world!". I usually smile and wave, but that's just me :)

Anyway, it's definitely nice to have a car where I live now, because like I said, it's a tiny town, and I love adventure, and I hate feeling stuck in one place, but every now and again, it's just good to go outside and remember what a freaking incredible place the world is, with my feet on the ground.

I saw this most beautiful tree on my walk today!

*Bonus: If you live somewhere it's rainy, you get to wear cute rain boots and a rain jacket, and that's pretty excellent functional fashion, if you ask me.

I can't pretend to know what's going to happen

My older sister plans everything (or, she used to. She lives in Africa right now, and I've heard it's pretty hard to have itineraries there). I have always envied her ability to fit so much activity into such a short amount of time. I always wonder if she knows what a "dull moment" is, because she's had something planned during all of the moments I've ever had the pleasure of spending with her. She's outgoing, social, enterprising, and sunny. She is an incredible human being, with credentials I just stand back and admire, slack-jawed.

I personally am a fan of not planning anything. In fact, I had a totally different blog post written, and then I sort of started ranting on this, so I deleted the other one and ran with it.

When I moved to DC, I came out to house-sit for my sister for 3 months. I took a leave of absence from my job that I was utterly in love with, and when they said "You're going to fall in love and never come back, aren't you?" I always had the same reply: "I can't pretend to know what's going to happen." I felt like my heart was split in two very distinct pieces. I had just gotten out of a relationship that ended on the "really crappy" side of the spectrum, so I wanted to get away. I love the East Coast, and moving out even for a few months was a really great opportunity. I had also just "met" one of my sisters acquaintances on Facebook, and was confident I would have at least one friend once I got out there. On the other hand, I felt like I was MADE for the job at the salon I was working at in Salt Lake. I was doing well, and building my clientele daily. My co-workers were my very best friends, and my family, and my everything. I got to live close to my grandma who is one of my greatest heros, and not getting any younger, and I was only 4 hours away from the rest of my family. Like I said, my heart was torn right down the damn middle. But, because I believe in adventure, and never saying no to an opportunity, I came to DC.

I was honest when I said I couldn't pretend to know what would happen, but I was also honest when I said I was coming out to house-sit for 3 months. After all, it takes longer than that to transfer a cosmetology license, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to make enough money to live on my own once my sister got back. I figured I'd be there 6 months, tops, before I had to stop mooching and get back to reality in Utah. So when I came out here, I mailed 2 boxes of things that reminded me of home, and I packed a suitcase and carry-on with clothes. My new Facebook friend picked me up at the airport, (at the risk of giving the whole story away, he had just gotten off a flight too, and I met him at baggage claim. He had a guitar, and tattoos and green eyes and brown hair, and I thought my plane must have crashed, because this had to be what heaven was like) needless to say,  I instantly knew it was going to be hard to go back to Utah.

Fast forward to now, and in 3 days, I will have been here for a year. I married the man that picked me up at the airport. My sister and her new boyfriend were our witnesses, and the ceremony was held just days before she went back to Africa for a several month stint to help Ghanaian women with their businesses. My husband and I moved just outside of Baltimore, and have a cute apartment and two dogs and we make music in our spare time. I will be honest, I miss my family like hell. I am so glad I took every opportunity to see them when I lived near. I miss my old Salon like no one should ever miss a job, but I would not trade this year for anything.

That was a pretty long-winded way of getting to the morale of my tale: Planning is not always what it's cracked up to be. Wake up in the morning, and instead of thinking "Ugh, I am not ready for this commute, and then sitting at my desk for 8 hours, and a stupid Slim-fast shake for lunch, and then I have to go home and see what the dogs chewed up" try waking up and thinking "I can't pretend to know what's going to happen." Because when you open  your mind up to LITERALLY every possibility, more of them become reality.

Don't be a baby, Surrender to Child's Pose

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was too busy walking my dogs and playing music with my husband, and then my internet was being funky. I started a post though, and will come back to it in a few days. It just isn't the right post for today.

Today, I want to write about one of my favorite yoga poses, which happens to be one virtually EVERYONE can do. It's called Childs Pose (Balasana), and it's so easy, and restorative and fantastic. it looks something like this:

Child's pose can be done with your knees under your chest, or out to the side (as in the picture), depending on how open your hips are. Arms can be straight out, down to the side, behind your back... wherever you want them. The thing I love so much about this pose is that it's so accessible, and yet, so incredibly grounding. I use Child's Pose when I am anxious, or spacey, or generally need to be grounded. It's used to surrender to the earth, and accept the fact that there is something bigger than us and our own issues.

I was in an incredibly emotional, hot, trying 2 hour yoga workshop a few months ago. The workshop was based on opening your heart, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. At one point, toward the end, EVERYONE in the class was crying. It was so powerful and beautiful to be in a room of strangers all attempting to break down the barriers that surround our hearts together. The energy in the room was fantastic. Anyway, at this point, when we were all at our very most vulnerable, we were instructed to surrender in childs pose. And in that moment the teacher said something so powerful, I'll never forget it. She said, "Give all of your heartache to the earth. She's much bigger than you, and she can handle it."

So next time you're feeling less-than-powerful, try surrendering into child's pose.

Open your mind. Forget your Identity.

"The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new" - Pema Chodron

All I want to do is spread some happiness, so hopefully I can accomplish that by posting things and thoughts that make me happy. I don't necessarily think I'm qualified to give advice, but I can let you in on thought patterns that have changed my life, and hope you can get something out of them. One of the biggest issues I see in a lot of people I've come in contact with is they get to a point in their life where they feel stuck. Whether consciously or not, they made choices in their life and now they feel backed into a corner. The thing is, I know that feeling, and for me, the best solution to that problem is this: 

The universe is full of endless possibilities, and you have infinite potential. You are doing yourself a disservice by limiting yourself to your identity.

Since I moved across the country and made a huge career shift, I've had A LOT of time to think about this. I suddenly wasn't "Tobi: Hair Stylist", and it wasn't until then that I figured out that had been my entire identity for years. For the first few months of living in DC, I wanted to cry every time I met someone and the first question they inevitably asked was "What do you do?". In a place where everyone has a big fancy job title, "I'm a former hairdresser, experiencing a bit of a meltdown" didn't sound so impressive.

After a while, I came to this: Clinging to a specific idea of self typically does not lead to a happy life. I am made of far more than my labels. I am my thoughts, quirks, philosophy, relationships, attitude, reactions, actions, words, habits, and emotions. And more than anything, I am allowed to change any part of me at any given time. I can move to a new state, get a new job, join a new church, take up knitting or basketball or skydiving - the only thing I have to do is decide to do it. This one HUGE, yet simple realization is what took me from a sobbing drunken mess who was SO lost and sad and confused at this time last year, to the me I am this second: the happiest version of Tobi to date.

Now, when people say "What do you do?", I say "Whatever the hell I want".

Loving Lavender: Intro and Insight

I always dread writing the first post on a new blog, because it's like introducing a part of yourself to the whole world for the first time. I've been putting it off for over a week now, but today is the day.

Hello World, my name is Tobi and this is my Happy Place. A place to write about things that spark creativity, breed love, aid in wellness, inspire spontaneity, assist in optimism, promote gratitude, and generally make me into the happy girl I am. I can't promise I know what this blog will turn into (these things tend to have a mind of their own), but I can promise it will be a good place to turn to if you're having a crappy day, want to learn about some wellness stuff, or get inspired! I must also preface this by making something clear: I am not a health nut. I just finished a BLT and enjoyed every second of it. Sometimes I eat fast food, or go a week without working out, or drink a latte. I will probably post a recipe or two here, and it will probably be something along the lines of "Beer Braised Pork Chops" (my favorite meal at the moment) rather than "Vegan Ball of Tastelessness". Forgive me my trespasses, but this is my blog about what makes me HAPPY. It is not a health blog, though I do try to stay physically healthy (I quit soda this week. Day 3: Not as hard as day 1 & 2, but still fantasizing about carbonation.), but more than that I try to do things in moderation and find an awesome balance so I can maintain my bliss.

Here's the deal: Every day I'm going to hop on here and write about stuff that I love. It might be a yoga pose, or an essential oil, or a quote, or a picture of my husband or dogs. Check back frequently, and I promise to post frequently. Tell your friends. Ask questions. Make suggestions! I want to know what makes you happy too! Let's share the love!

I'll kick off with something that's been my saving grace for the last several months:

doTERRA Lavender Oil. I could literally write for days about this stuff. It is, simply put, Happiness in liquid form. This oil was reason enough for me to sign up to be a Product Consultant for their company (for reals). It is the top seller, and even people who don't use oils use this oil. I'm not here to sling oils though, so let me tell you why it's the first guest star on my blog. There are 5 reasons I have used this oil daily in the last several months.

1. I have chronic sleep issues. I have a hard time getting to sleep, I have a hard time staying asleep, and I have a hard time getting up in the morning. My very first memory from my childhood is a nightmare I had. I've tried every medication, from sleeping pills to anxiety pills, Melatonin to blood thinning medication. Everything has had a side effect I've had a hard time living with, but without taking anything, I simply don't sleep. It's affected jobs, relationships, and honestly, it makes my brain a scary place. This is where Lavender Oil has saved me. I put a bit on the bottom of my feet right and a few drops on my pillow at bed time, and I go to sleep. Let me repeat that. I go to SLEEP! And I STAY asleep! And when I wake up, I am awake! Not to mention,  because of it's relaxing properties, I can probably count the number of nightmares I've had in the past 3 months on one hand. Which for me, is a miracle.
2. My sweet, adorable dog Dexter recently had some sort of irritation on his paw. I don't know if it was allergies, or a bug bite, or what happened, but he kept licking it raw. All the fur was missing, and it was a tender swollen red mess. I put a few drops of Lavender Oil on it one day as a little experiment and he stopped licking it for several hours. I kept applying it a few times a day for the last week and am absolutely THRILLED to report the fur is coming back, and he leaves it alone completely. Thanks Lavender, you saved me and Dex a vet visit!
3. I recently went on a road trip from Baltimore, MD to San Diego, CA and back. By myself. Needless to say, my back/shoulders/neck/wrists/ankles/butt were super sore, every day. Right around Little Rock, Arkansas I started mixing a few drops of Lavender Oil in with my lotion in the morning and in my bath water at night, and suddenly a 9 hour drive didn't seem so bad.
4. I'll admit it: I'm a bleach-aholic. I don't mean Clorox, I mean my hair. My poor, poor hair has been the same length for as long as I can remember, because I insist on being platinum blonde. Well, I'm actively trying to grow it out now, and Lavender Oil is my new favorite tool. Of course I love what it does for my well-being, but what a product does for my hair will sell me faster than anything else (I'm a hair dresser, what do you expect?!). My hair feels healthier than it has since I started beauty school 6 years ago, and it's getting longer (!) all because I put 2 drops (only 2!) in with my leave-in conditioner every morning. (I also put a drop in with my moisturizer, along with some Frankincense, and I have never had better looking skin. I glow!)
5.  It smells fantastic.It's almost impossible to NOT be happy when you're sniffing lavender. I put a drop on my temples, and any traces of crabbiness vanish instantly. It helps me relax, focus, and smile.

So, there you have it. If you haven't tried Lavender Essential Oil, I (obviously) highly recommend it for pretty much anything. If you do use it, I'd love to hear why you love it! And if you'd like to try it, let me know and I'll help you get some so you can start experiencing this amazing "Gift of the Earth"!

Thanks for reading my first post! Check back tomorrow for another way To Be happy!