New Beginnings

Hello there! I feel a little guilty for not posting here in so long, but I have to admit something to you; Last year was one of the hardest years of my life. I'm not going to go into detail (after all, this is supposed to be my happy place!) but let's just say that between the last time I wrote and now, life has been crazy, and not in a great way. Loooooooong story short, all of the cruddiness from last year culminated in my husband B and I deciding our lives needed a change. We packed up the house and dogs and moved to the Midwest. There are a number of pros and cons to this big change, but let's focus on the positive, shall we?

Good Things About Moving to Indiana: 

• I am not contracting for the company I used to work for, so I am able to focus on getting back into doing hair full-time. I got a job at an upscale salon that also has an onsite division so I am able to take my talents in several directions while under the umbrella of the same company. Things are slow going right now, but the positive side of being slow, is that there's only room to speed up!
• We are closer to my step-son, which will hopefully lend to spring-break and/or winter-break visits from him. He is a light in my life that I could use a lot more of.
• Life moves at a much slower pace in the middle of the country than it does on either coast. Though it is not our ultimate goal to live and die here, it is probably good to take a break from the hustle and bustle for a minute.
• I am much closer to photographers I'd love to work with, and have already set things up with a few of them.
• We get to meet new people, experience different points of view, and share our stories with others. It's been a big hurdle for me to branch out and meet new people since I moved to the East Coast (I had my sister and husband to introduce me to people they knew I'd like, so I didn't have to do any of the legwork!) but here I HAVE to meet people both to grow my business and to keep me sane. We've already made a couple of friends!
• I have a bit more time to sort out my goals and passions, and to learn new things. Lately I've been teaching myself to code, keeping in touch with penpals, crocheting a scarf, working out more, and learning lots of new hair techniques and tricks. As well as brushing up on my oil knowledge!

I won't lie to you, this move has also been very difficult for me - We moved on Jan 1, in the middle of the coldest, snowiest winter this town has seen in recorded history. We are far away from all of my relatives and friends, and B has been gone for the majority of the time that we've lived here. BUT like I said, the good thing about stuff being bad, is that there's so much room for it to get good. Winter is almost over, the snow will melt and I'll get to see this new town blossom. I get to go home and see my little sister AND my best friends get married this spring. In a couple of weeks, B will come home and start his new job that I am positive he's going to LOVE, and I am determined to meet some new people and help them feel great about themselves. 

It may be off to a rough (and cold!) start, but I have a great feeling that 2014 is going to be my year. Now, I need your help! What sort of stuff would you like to see me write about? Hair tips? Oil info and tricks? My favorite songs to listen to while coding (spoiler alert, it's not techno) How to dig your car out of the snow in less than 20 minutes? Shoot me ideas, and I'll make it happen!

All of my love. Stay happy and warm, friends!

T

Nothing Stays, Everything Changes.

Today has been really really cathartic and freeing. In fact, I would venture to say that today is the first day since last October or November that I really felt like I was myself, in my own body, mind and emotions. People keep asking me why I haven't been blogging, and requesting that I write a post for months, but I kept saying I was too busy. The truth of the matter is that I tried. I even sat down a few times and attempted posts, but I have been battling some sort-of-gnarly winter depression and it has been impossible for me to sit and write anything inspiring, (or some days anything positive at all) and if isn't genuine, I'm not doing it. The point is, I haven't been blogging because this winter drained me of every ounce of energy I had, but one of my favorite mantras is "Nothing stays, everything changes." and winter and the depression it brings is no exception.

What made today the day things started to look up for me? I have a few guesses:

1) Today I met with a friend who accepts and loves me completely. She is one of those friends I have called up just to pour my heart out and cry and cry and cry, and she's one of those friends who I can go get manicures with and talk about nothing. She gets my inner workings, and I feel safe with her. That alone helped me feel better.

2) We ate good healthy food and drank yummy tea. Of course I felt good about that!

3) I colored her hair. Being a hairdresser is a funny thing. It's work, but it's also art, science, and genuine human interaction. Those 3 things are pretty much what makes my world go 'round. Add in the fact that when I'm done with a client I get the satisfaction of a finished product and they feel happy with the way they look, and what's not to feel good about?

But the biggest reason I think I felt an almost physical snap out of my winter doldrums was this:

4) We painted, and it wasn't pretty. I got a big piece of poster board and threw paint on it. I put paint on my hands and smeared it all around. I put paint on a brush and splattered it everywhere. I hit my poster board. I made delicate little marks, then sprayed them with water and watched them drip all over the place. I made 5 tiny sweet pink marks that made me think of my 4 siblings and my mom, who are all across the country. I made a big yellow blob that reminded me that even though it's been behind dark, wet clouds for months now, there is a gorgeous yellow sun just waiting to bring me warmth. I've never painted before because I didn't think I had the artistic aptitude for it (I can't even draw a stick figure properly), but today I realized that painting the way I did is less about creating something recognizable and beautiful, and more about true self expression and honest, raw emotion. It was incredibly freeing to try something new in such a safe environment, and just let all the gunk that had accumulated during my bummed out, tired, grey, lonely winter explode out on a clean, white slate. It was a kind of purge that I kept attempting to write about, but just didn't have the words to execute.

I guess where I'm going with this is that I think I'm back. I'm at least back enough to blog again. And if you have been feeling shitty lately for whatever reason, I highly recommend making a big mess out of something that started out sterile and pristine. After all, nothing stays. Everything changes.

My Take on Mindfulness

Have you ever heard of "mindfulness"? It's the practice of being in the present, of being here, of being aware. Over the past year, I have done my best to practice mindfulness, but it is so much harder than it sounds.

Let's get real here: I tend to be an anxious person. Okay, that's a huge understatement. I tend to be THE anxious person. I get super frazzled when I am running late, my heart feels like it's going to explode if money gets just a little tight. My head gets all hot and my palms get sweaty when I have to meet people for the first time. By far the worst thing of being an anxious person, though, is my runaway-train brain. I create these tightly wound knots-of-thought about everything, ranging from the tone of voice a total stranger used with me, to the way one of my exes treated me, to what kind of mother I imagine I'll be. I can take a tiny shred of reality, fuel it with anxiety, add a dash of perception and presto-chango, I've created a  new world. One in which I get kicked out of my apartment because my neighbor is mad that my dog barked in the middle of the night, or, where my mom is mad at me (or worse!), because she didn't answer her phone right away when I called. "Oh god, maybe something terrible happened. Maybe I should fly home. How am I going to do that though, with the holidays coming up, and money is tight for everyone, and what will I do with the dogs? And once I'm there, how long do I stay,  and where? And and and and!!!" It spirals out of control, and before I know it, the actual world I live in is something I've totally forgotten about. The one where my neighbor slept through my dog barking, my mom is a busy woman who is safe, and loves me forever, and everything is just as it should be. It's easy to do though, and I've learned 3 things since I decided I wanted to live happy:

1. Everyone has this affliction to some degree or another
2. Being mindful of the present moment makes winding those knots a hell of a lot more difficult.
3. It's okay to have a bad day, as long as you understand why

Some suggest practicing mindfulness by focusing on your breath. Honestly, I find it difficult and distracting.. I practice mindfulness in several different ways, but first by focusing on physical sensations. When I'm washing dishes, I focus on the scent of the soap. The solidness of the dish in my hand, the temperature of the water, the way the rug under me feels on my feet. I do my best not to just "wash my dishes", but to Wash My Dishes. When I drove across the country a few months ago, I had a TON of time to think. I drove alone for 6,500+ miles. I didn't want to waste my trip, and since I didn't have someone to "make memories with", I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to practice mindfulness. I feel like I could describe 20+ states to you in excruciating detail. Not just the scenery, but the feeling I had as I was passing through. The way the locals treated me and the kinds of conversations we had. My energy level, my appetite, what I listened to, who I thought of. I learned that it's a lot easier to milk every second of happiness out of life if you are actually experiencing every second of life. If you pay attention, there is something you enjoy happening every single moment. The first step, for me, was to get out of my head. If you don't have a clear head to deal with everything right now, that's okay. Set aside the knot-of-thought and focus on what is real right now

Another way I practice mindfulness is to dissect. I read a book once that suggested that every emotion is boiled down to one of 2 base emotions: Hope, and Fear. I was skeptical of this philosophy until I started to dissect my emotions every time I got anxious. EVERY TIME it boiled down to either hope, or fear. Really, even if at first it looked like hope, it was usually fear anyway. They're really the flip side of the same coin. Anyway, what I'm getting at is this: Next time you feel like you might be allowing yourself to create a world that isn't genuine, ask why. Once you get down to the fear that inevitably lies beneath it, you will notice that that big imaginary world you created with those knots, is loosened down to a singular thread. Then you're free to snip the thread and toss it.

Mindfulness, for me, it's a huge key to happiness. It's not to say I don't still have issues (just ask my poor, sweet husband), and it certainly takes work, but I have gotten to a place of clarity in my mind that I didn't know was possible. The best part is that every perceived set-back, can be used as a tool to open up a little bit more. 

“In this moment, there is plenty of time. In this moment, you are precisely as you should be. In this moment, there is infinite possibility." - Victoria Moran, Younger by the Day: 365 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Body and Revitalize Your Spirit

When Life Gives You Lemons, Be Totally Stoked.

I love my life (obviously, that's why I have a happiness blog), but sometimes it stinks. Literally. I have 2 dogs (a Basset/Beagle mix named Dex, and a Schnauzer named Jake) who are flatulent, drooly, and not-quite-entirely potty trained (both Bassets and Beagles are notorious for being hard to housebreak, and a mix between the two is proving to be impossible). I also have a husband who is a month into the 'Insanity' workout, and since my operation I've had a hard time raising my arms high enough to apply deodorant. So yea, my life is fantastic, but it doesn't smell so good. I have a Scentsy, which I love, but sometimes when you walk in the door, you just don't want to have to wait for wax to melt. I bought an Airwick, but it scares the dogs when it goes off every 90 seconds so we used it for about 20 minutes before deciding that it was a horrible investment. My husband is a fantastically clean person so our home is always clean, but no matter what I tried, I couldn't get it to not smell like we have dogs. Until one of them got worms, and I got obsessive...

I can't remember if I've ever had a dog have worms before or not, but for some reason, it really freaked me out when we found out poor Jake had them. Parasites just skeez me out, I guess. We got pills for the boys, and they told us to check them for fleas, but that just wasn't good enough for me. I decided to take matters into my own doTERRA loving hands.

It turns out, mixing baking soda, salt, and lemon essential oil kills fleas, which are the cause of the worms. I mixed up a big ol' batch and sprinkled it all over my carpet, rugs, couch, throw pillows, you name it. I left it on for 30ish minutes, and vacuumed it up. Voila! I don't even know if there were fleas in my carpet, but I sure as hell will sleep better tonight knowing that there aren't now. Added bonus: My house smells AWESOME! No one in the world would be able to tell I have dogs and a sweaty husband and haven't worn antiperspirant in 3 weeks. It's officially my favorite cleaning tool now, and I'm going to use it every time I vacuum for the rest of my life. Plus, it's cheap! doTERRA's Lemon oil is $13.33 and a box of baking soda isn't more than a couple bucks. I don't even know how much it costs, because it lasts forever. I'm telling you, if you have animals and or sweaty kids/spouse, this is going to save your olfactories. Plus and you're going to be stoked to have people come over, instead of having that "Sorry about the animal smell, but we love them!" conversation every time you have have company  More added benefits? Sure, here's a list!

Lemon oil (when used aromatically):

• A natural air disinfectant (not just deodorizer!)
• A mood booster (who doesn't need that this time of year?) 
• Improves memory
• Alleviates anxiety
• Improves concentration 
• Helps with nervous conditions and depression (including postpartum depression)
• Alleviates hangovers (come on, friends. I'm looking at you...)
• Aids in Lymphatic Cleansing
• Promotes physical energy
• Relieves throat infections
• Is generally uplifting

And did I mention my house smells freaking amazing? Woohoo!!

P.S. I only listed the benefits doTERRA's lemon oil has when used aromatically, which is how it's used if it's sprinkled on your carpet (mixed with baking soda, of course) or diffused into the air. There are TONS of other benefits when applied topically, or ingested. As with any oil, feel free to ask me any questions you have, and you can pick some up here:www.mydoterra.com/tobivehrs

Be well friends! 

My Pocket Book of Sunshine

I have a tiny little book I carry everywhere with me. It's always in my purse, or by my bed, or in my back pocket, or on our kitchen table. It's beat up, underlined, highlighted, and dog-eared. It's called Tao te Ching, and I think of it as my guidelines for life. In the forward of my copy of the book, it says, "Lao-tzu's central figure is a man or woman [referred to as 'the Master'] whose life is in perfect harmony with the way things are. This is not an idea, it's a reality... In giving up all concepts, judgements, and desires, her mind has grown naturally compassionate. She finds deep in her own experience, the central truths of the art of living.". It's less like the bible, which has a lot of stories of how other people lived, and more like a philosophy book. It's 'Truths of the art of living' in plain, simple, form.

Written sometime between 4th-6th century BC, it's a classic Chinese text written by Lao-tzu (my version is translated by Stephen Mitchell) and whose title roughly translates to "The Book of the Way". No one knows much about the author (he may or may not have lived 996 years, over 13 incarnations) but to me, the majority of that information is irrelevant, and can be found on Google.

The reason I'm blogging about my dear, sweet Tao te Ching, is because when I'm upset, or sad, or anxious or afraid or bummed or judgmental, or at all imbalanced, I can open it to literally any page, and find solace. My all time favorite verse (or quote, if you prefer) that I come back to time, and time and time again, is:

"Things arise, and she lets them come, Things disappear, and she lets them go.".

It is so incredibly simple, but there are some days I have to read it 500 times, over and over and over before I can put it into practice. That's why I carry it with me everywhere. I breathe in the words, I breathe out my suffering. I breathe in the way, I breathe out my trials. I'm in no way 'enlightened', but after reading even the smallest portion of this book at any given time I feel like I can somehow just exist in the best possible Tobi way. It's like that part on 'I Heart Huckabees' when they hit each other in the face with a rubber ball. After you've been smacked like that, there's no room to judge, or even think. Right then, you just are. (they call it 'Pure Being'. Watch it if you haven't. Then watch it again. Then let's talk about existentialism, because that's my favorite stuff).

There is so much knowledge contained in the tiny 81 pages of this book, I honestly wish I could buy a copy for everyone in the whole entire world. Another fantastic quote is:

"The Master doesn't seek fulfillment. Not seeking, not expecting, she is present and can welcome all things".

It just kind of fits in with my whole philosophy of not planning, but letting the universe unfold in front of you. Breathe in, let it come. Breathe out, let it go. The universe is chaotic, and we are silly to think we can control it.

If you really don't feel like getting a copy of Tao te Ching, you can always just Google Lao-tzu quotes. There are tons of them (whether they actually came from him or not is up for debate, but I digress...) and every single one will make you want to live more fully with every breath. I leave you with this:

(or as my friend Tonni says, "If you have one foot in the past and one in the future, you're [squatting] on the present." She's an old, wise soul)

I love you, friends. Be well!

Don't let your pain in the neck be a "pain in the neck".

My back is, for lack of a better word, skiwampus. (I think my mom made up this word, because my family are the only people I've ever heard use it, but feel free to from now on. Pronounced Skee-Womp-Us: meaning screwed up, or, you know... FUBAR) I have mild scoliosis, protruding shoulder blades, some funky form of tendonitis around my trapezius muscle, and according to my chiropractor, pre-arthritis and subluxations in the my cervical spine. In fact, 99.9% of the time, if I have any sort of pain, it's in my shoulders/neck/upper back. Since I've been doing lots and lots of yoga in the past couple years, it's gotten a lot better, but since I haven't done yoga in the past almost-month, it's really all creeping up on me. These two incredibly easy things have made my life SO much easier lately:

1: Remember that yoga pose I wrote about a few posts back? (Child's Pose) Well, that's been helping a lot, but due to certain circumstances, it's been hard for me to lay on my chest very well. That's where the pose that is affectionately referred to as Rag Doll pose comes in. I'm super limited in my range of motion right now, but this one's for everyone, and I have probably been doing it 20x a day this past week. Here's how it's done: Stand with your feet hips distance apart, bend at the hips, and dangle your arms head and neck. Sometimes I hold my elbows, sometimes I let my arms hang, sometimes I put my hands behind my back. Feel free to play with it. It's so unbelievably easy, and feels sooooo good. Try it. Right now. You know you want to! There you go. Hold that pose for a solid 10 breaths and you'll feel like a new person. If you want an added stretch, each time you exhale, try to get a little longer. Then, once you're ready to rejoin the world of the Upright's, slowly roll up, one vertebrae at a time. Hang on, I'll do it with you... Oh man, that felt good (yea, I genuinely just did it.) When was the last time you just let your head dangle like dead weight? Trust me, your neck deserves a break from holding up your brilliant brain and you gorgeous face all day.

Number two on my (short) list of things that have made my life more comfortable and down right delightful lately is also my doTERRA spotlight product for the day (because who doesn't like a twofer?): 

This. Stuff. ROCKS! I first tried it after I had driven from Maryland to Arizona, and my dad had me put some on my achy back. Since then, I've been HOOKED! The closest thing I can compare it to is Icy-Hot and/or Vick's Vaporub, but made with essential oils so it has added benefits. It's comprised of wintergreen, camphor, peppermint, blue tansy, German chamomile, helichrysum, and osmanthus. A little bit goes a LONG way, and you feel the warming/cooling effects immediately. It's so great for people like me with chronic muscle pain, but also good for sore muscles after a hard workout, or a nice, deep-tissue massage. DoTERRA also makes a Deep Blue proprietary blend oil (which I also have) that is super duper strong, and must be diluted, and also as a roll on for smaller areas. Thanks to the one-two punch of this rub, and good ol' Rag Doll pose, (and the occasional heating pad) I feel like a million bucks!

On Guard!

I promised I'd spotlight a different doTERRA product every day this week, and I'm super psyched, because I just got a shipment in the mail!

Today's oil is more than just an oil. It's a SUPER MEGA oil blend, called On Guard. It's a proprietary blend of Wild Orange, Clove Bud, Cinnamon Bark, Eucalyptus Radiata, and Rosemary. This is THE OIL to have for flu season, and here's why: the oils contained in On Guard have been studied for their abilities to kill harmful bacteria, mold and viruses. (According to Modern Essentials: A Contemporary Guide to the Therapeutic Use of Essential Oils; Third Edition) It is shown to help boost immune function, and protect against bacteria and viruses. If you have kids, you need this stuff. Basically what I'm saying is this: You get a sniffle, apply this stuff to the bottom of your feet and you'll feel better in no time. Even better than that, you can diffuse it into the air to kill bacteria and viruses, so you never even get a sniffle in the first place! Tell me that's not better than a flu shot!

Another thing I like about On Guard, is that you can also get it in a foamy hand soap (which I just got for my kitchen and bathrooms, YAY!) a Cleaner Concentrate to clean and protect the surfaces of your home or work-place (especially good when the guy in the cubicle next to you keeps sneezing all over your desk!), and Protecting Throat Drops, just in case you read this post a little too late and already got a bug :)

Seriously though, I want everyone to be able to enjoy what promises to be an awesome holiday season with their loved ones, and not worry about feeling under the weather, so try this stuff out. I promise, you'll thank me for it.

As always, you can order here --> www.mydoterra.com/tobivehrs

Be well!!